3 May 2011

Changing Face

I think that sometimes you just don't know how to act because you changed for someone and you spent so much time changing or having been changed that you can't quite remember how you were before.

You can't quite remember certain feelings or certain reactions;

You hestitate on things you should say and say jokes you maybe shouldn't have.

That's why its harder to forget someone than to get over someone.

You're almost stuck in the mode where you're used to knowing how someone would react to you or something you say or do.. it's natural.

Maybe I'm just making excuses for someone not acting on something.


But that's how I see it.


Just.. Don't lose who you are.

11 April 2011

Romans Revenge

OUCH.

Who knows how a girl can turn into Queen Bee bitch?


I do.

You never think that it is possible or gonna happen to you, until it HAPPENS to you.
One day you're fine and next day, yesterdays best friend is today's worst enemy.


But fuck it, I am out for myself and no one else!
Today my brother Tazar said some clever words.
'Opt to be a sheep and live a life of boredom. opt to be a wolf and live a life of loneliness'

Well seems i'm the only one howling out here.
It's funny how you are BORN to do something, or to be a certain way.
How can a little baby be.. i don't know.. destined?! -I guess, no matter how out there that sounds - to do something or be someone.

I dunno, but I was.
and do you know how?

Not because of any reason like,
'I was born to do music'
'I was born to do this'
blah blah

I just haven't changed!

It sounds stupid and maybe a little pretentious, but i really haven't.
There are little things that have influence over me or the way I think etc.

No.1 - My Mom No.2 - My Music No.3 - Love.

That's it, and considering the love thing is skeptical you can consider that a definite two!

I remember being in primary school and having my own little swag and way of doing things.



I've basically come to a point where I've had to take my head out of the sand and face my future.
That's scary.

But to be honest it had to be done.

So I'm standing staring at my future and its basically looking up at me from my hands and saying, please don't throw me away!

No one is born to do anything.
It's bullshit.
You weren't born to do music or born to be a great photographer, blogger whatever you are.

You were born to be the best version of yourself and born to do everything the way that you are.
If you apply that to music or photography or whatever then good for you, you're putting that to use and THAT is what you were born to do.

So fuck everyone else!

I'm on my own vibe, and my revenge on all those bitches is my success.
SO SUCK ON MY CESS BITCH!




'Parris they just mad cause you took the spot. WORD!? You bitches mad cause i took the spot? Well... BITCH IF YOU AIN'T SHITTIN' THEN GET OFF THE POT.'




26 March 2011

My Ode To Hip Hop

So I'm sitting here with the beaming sun coming through the window.

Well.. I say beaming.. but we are in England.

But ANYWAYS! It's my weekly does of Kardashians and I'm watching

Kim & Kourtney take New York.

GOD I MISS IT SO MUCH.

- NY That is -

100% the best week of my life ever..

But it got me thinking about that lifestyle;


HIP HOP.

Ever since I was tiny I have been exposed to music, Hip Hop mainly.

Sometimes even banned from listening to songs because I was too young.

NWA - when i was like 5 maybe wasn't the best thing for me to be singing in school. But then again I was straight up GANGSTAAAA!

I was just enveloped in music, in HIP HOP.



Hip Hop is not only a type of music, but a culture and way of life.

Hip Hop is an album cover, to a pair of trainers. Hip Hop is a way of dressing and talking.

You cannot porttray Hip Hop thorugh just photographs or a magazine interview, you can't show Hip Hop through any type of media. You have to live Hip Hop.

Hip Hop vibes everywhere.

It allows you to feel free, it allows you to be the headliner at Madison Sq. Gardens and the hood celebrity stunting on the corner, all at the same time. Hip Hop allows you to have all of the riches in the world but have no money in your pocket.

Hip Hop isn't just about what sells of what flops, not about how many mixtapes you drop or trainrs you got. Hip Hop is graffitti on the street and the way you hold yourself and the way you talk and dress and live. Hip Hop is not something written on paper then put to a track. Hip Hop is drawn from the soul, something that is organic and real. Hip Hop is the soul and streets of all music. Hip Hop is in touch with the curb and yet Hip Hop can buy you a Bentley. Hip Hop is everything and Hip Hop is me.







I am Hip Hop.







This is why people like Cher Lloyd have no place in Hip Hop. She sang a hip hop song (just about) and now is in the studio with Lil wayne? This is what is wrong with Modern day Hip Hop. You can't just sing a song and then you are Hip Hop.

Hip Hop isn't treated like it should be anymore. It is taken for granted.

It used to be a club that you could feel part of because it brought something new everytime and now that club is being exploited by people wanting fame and money. Hip Hop is not just loving a few Hip Hop songs, you have to BE Hip Hop.. therefore the reason people like cher lloyd cannot be Hip Hop, hip hop is a culture and a lifestyle. You can't just sing a song someone else has written over a beat someone else has produced. Thats not hip hop. You have to be able to create hip hop.

And I dont mean just music. I mean you have to bring hip hop to everything you do. Your swag your voice your music .. your life. You have to be hip hop not portray it.

Hip Hop needs to go back to the days of J Dilla, Nate Dogg and The Fugee's. Having rap battles in the bronx in b ball courts, with a guy with a big ass chain that he saved most of his wage for. To a someone that has mad talent making beats but hasn't got a studio, he's only got his mouth. And a guy that doesn't write lyrics on his Blackberry but sits with a pad and a pen writing lines that rhyme. Hip Hop needs to be a word used not so loosely but to be held high and honoured. Bring Hip Hop back.







This Is How We Do It!

Source Bar, Maidstone - Me & The Boys.

Whatuppp?!

So literally not in the best moods..
1 - I should have done an essay
2 - I am no where near starting that essay
3 - Money, every 18 year old girls problem right?!


O.K... so it's not that bad, but the urge to just sleep doesn't help the whole situation.


Sooooo.. UPDATE!

I've shaved my hair, I have a tattoo
& I have a Blackberry(yes yes i know i finally gave in, but i'm still loyal to my apple family!)

HOWEVER.

I'm still just as uncool as I was before!
& proud.


So glad i'm back on here to be honest, I was going a little crazy with all the thoughts in my head, that are now stored in my Blackberry (but will soon be appearing on here)


Shit has changed as well..
I mean real shit has gone down!

but we'll get to that!
So for now, i'll get off mumbling on, try and gain back the few readers of my blog that I did have and go continue my life.

HOLLA!

I needed

A re-vamp.. so I did..
I will be blogging a lot more too! and putting a lot more different stuff up on here!
To be honest, my tumblr is where all my random things go, this is a bit more.. sophisticated!?

That might sound pretentious but MEH! who's judging?!


16 March 2011

I'll be back..

and i mainly always am.. but neglection isn't even the word for what I have done to this blog.

I love blogging, and its so my thing, but i think i need a revamp of the blog.. to either change it up a bit or maybe create a whole new one? hmm anyways for now i shall think about that while i continue to blog feelings that don't help anyone or anything :) THANKYOU AND GOODNIGHT.