22 February 2010

you don't realise.

you don't understand how much you miss something until you are potentially going to lose it.
you look at what your life would be without it and you cry.

tears of anger.
tears of sadness.
tears of pity.

how many times do you have to fuck yourself over before you realise your doing something wrong?!

I've counted, three.

Once - experience
Twice - Learning curve
Third - complete fuck up.

IF you cant live without it.
don't fuck about with it.
don't take it for granted.
don't love it.

it gets you fucked over.

19 February 2010

Paramore - The Only Exception

For this I do not need any words, i do not need any sympathy.
I do not have any words, I do not have any sympathy.
I understand the love in my words, just not my words themselves.

16 February 2010

Growing up ain't easy

Yes, I'm getting older.
Yes, I'm going to have to chose where I wanna go with my life.
Yes I know I'll have to do it.

But why am I feeling like i'm wishing my life ... away?!
'Well when you finish university and your going into a job...'


You've just made me 25?!
I'm only a baby.
Give me colouring pencils and tell me to stay in the lines.

But with it all, I have learnt some damn good things.
The first beingdon't let work get on top of you.
If you had seen me, a blind panic to finish all my work before I broke up, well as you can magine that never happened.
But being in a very desperate state...

I went to the library.

Yes I did it.

Geek you say!?

I say.



I think life realises when you need a knock back down to earth though!

Out of a lot of my chosen companions
(and i say chosen because you really have to these days)

I am completely, one hundred percent, iron boots on, gravity in full force..grounded, totally down to earth, scouts honour.
Yet I do believe in Karma, and I've been doing pretty alright lately.
I don't think there's anythign that has gone majorly wrong, I was pretty much on top pf the world.

Then I tripped on stage.

and when i say trip I don't just mean trip


Right as I ususally do this..

beginning beginning beginning....

Dance recital, rehearsing going great, both f my dances are tip top perfect.

I'm ill the day of the recital
(and i've already tre to put the trip down to that and it doeasn't work)
So i' haven't been in edcation all day, and thus meaning I have been sittign on my beautifully rounded ass all day, not using my legs.

So we go dada.. all the stuff you don't need to know.

We're ohhing and ahhing over the younger years who's first recital this is and how excted they are takign pictures etc.

Me and Linzi have devised this sick entrance for when our names appear on the screen.

I've got a whole michael jackson crutch grab going on and shes got elvis down to a point.

our names come up.

100 people sitting in the audience.

I run, do my pose, go to run away.

and its blank.

it was literally that bad ive blanked it from my mind involunterily.
my brain obviously decided it was too traumatic for me to remember.

what i do remeber is that i had no feet.
for some reason when i was runnign away my feet just disappeared and i skidded all the way into the wings!

The bit that i did miss out owever was that, everyone was on stage in the wings and me and Hannah were runnign around getting tickets to people.

So i run into the dressing room fling off my uggs, leaving my socks on and therefore leadign to the incident.

So karma beat my ass for something!


life eh.

But I guess, it just shows that whoever we are whatever we are doing, never get to cocky for yr boots.
Cause karma's gonna stick out his big foot and trip you up.

So I'ma be blogging a lot more.

till next time.